Survival Mode

Survival Mode 

I found myself battling with the urge to return to the toxic patterns of my past. It’s a familiar feeling, one that I know all too well. The pull of my trauma and old habbits calling out to me, calling me to what is known, even if it’s harmful.

Living in survival mode is like being stuck in a spiral of fight or flight, every decision is based on protecting myself from potential harm. It’s a way of existing that becomes almost comforting, despite the fact that it is far from anything like true joy and success.

reflecting on these feelings, I can’t help but wonder why it’s so easy to be drawn back to the very things that I have fought so hard to break free from. Is it the familiarity of the pain that makes it so easy? Or perhaps it’s the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty of what lies ahead if I continue down the path of healing and growth.

But deep down, I know that I am stronger than my trauma and old habbits. I am capable of creating a new sense of home within myself, one that is nurturing, supportive, and free from the shadows of my past. I refuse to let my past define me or dictate my future.

It’s a journey that will always have challenges and setbacks. There are moments when the pull towards the familiar becomes almost overwhelming, when the voice of my trauma seems louder than my own. But in those moments, I remind myself of how far I have come and how much I have grown. I have gone beyond limitations that were once imposed upon me and I am capable of creating a new reality for myself.

So, today I make a promise to myself  a promise to continue on the path of healing and growth, to embrace the discomfort of the unknown, and to believe in my own strength and resilience. I deserve a life that is free from the constraints of my past and I am committed to creating a new sense of home within myself.

“The ego clings to the negative, did you know this? Have you observed your ego? The nature of the ego is to entertain itself with thoughts.” 

┬░TLB Kruger

Love & Light

Johan 

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